WARNING!! ADULT CONTENT

WARNING!! ADULT CONTENT
If you were born after 1989, LEAVE NOW.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Oh, Hai. This is my blog.

It's Fantasy Friday. I'm devoid of fantasies at the moment. Unfortunately. All I can say is that the world of mommyhood and an invigorating sex life, be it in print or for reals, are two mutually exclusive things right now. Perhaps I should start a blog entitled "Celibate Mom" or "The Day My Sex Life Died" or "How My Baby Stole My Heart and My Libido". For the life of me, I can't seem to let my mind get to a sexual place and dwell in the candlelit haze of erotic tale-spinning. Maybe it's the fact that I'm totally and completely obsessed with this election and any free time I have is devoted to reading as much political information I can get my grimy, spit-up covered, drool infested hands on. Either that or I'm just so fucking tired.

Seriously, am I a freak? Does this happen to other moms out there? Or am I just some lame female who can't juggle being a stay at home mom and having a semi-normal life all at the same time? Don't answer that.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Slight Case of Blogger's Block

What do you do when you can't think of anything to write about? Write about it, of course! So here I am, completely devoid of any original thoughts, blogging about my desolate mind, wondering why I feel like the world of sex is so incredibly boring right now. It's not, really. In fact, more and more people are looking for sex during these uncertain times, what with the recession and talks of a Depression, financial markets on the edge of ruin, and the election taking a nasty turn. And just today, ABC News uncovered NSA military telephone operators allegedly eavesdropping on personal phone calls by military officers, including but not limited to phone sex calls and pillow talk between officers and their significant others. And in other news, Coke is the new spermicide, Jamie Lynn Spears is supposedly pregnant again, and Betty White finds Barack Obama extremely sexy.

So you see, I could blog about any number of things, but I'm too fucking lazy and lack the energizing creativity at this particular moment in my life. I'm trying to channel all my inspiration into a Fantasy Friday post, so stay tuned.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Misleading Headline of the Day


Nerds Rejoice: Braininess Boosts Likelihood of Sex

What the article does say is that women look for intelligent signs of life when on the hunt of a potential mate, long-term or short-term. Yes, brains are a turn-on, nerds of America. What it doesn't say until the second page, however, is that LOOKS ARE STILL MORE IMPORTANT THAN BRAINS. So, don't get all excited there, nerd-boy. If you look like a geek, quack like a geek, and don't look like Brad Pitt, then chances are your chances of getting laid are still pretty slim.* In fact, I'm not sure why they even published this article.

**I, for one, am so turned-on by geeks. Ask my husband.