Police take down stripper's particulars for impersonation - Yahoo! News
So, this stripper gets taken in and booked for impersonating an officer, when really he was just dressed in his requisite stripper uniform, getting ready to do an act. But I guess the two female plain-clothed officers decided he just wasn't doing the uniform justice. This is the scene I imagine:
Outside a bar, two plainclothes female police officers parked in a car across the street are just finishing a stake out. There is a small line outside the bar, and a few people are near the door talking and smoking. One of those people is a 24 year old blonde guy dressed in a cop uniform, who moments before had just arrived.
Female Cop 1: (to Female Cop 2) Hey, it looks like there's a cop on duty here at this bar.
Female Cop 2: You serious? Maybe he got a call about a fight or something. (gets a closer look at the officer) He doesn't look familiar. But, fuck, he's hot. Look at that ass.
Female Cop 1: Let's go fuck with him.
Female Cop 2: And do what?
Female Cop 1: I dunno, break his balls a little. Maybe get his number. (smiles)
She gets out of the car, and the other female cop follows. They walk across the street together, Female Cop 1 definitely in control. The blonde uniformed cop has his back to the two as they approach the bar. Female Cop 1 walks up behind him and taps him on the shoulder.
Female Cop 1: Officer, do you have a badge?
(The uniformed cop turns around, obviously taken aback, with a look of confusion on his face. His shirt is unbuttoned, showing off much of his tanned, muscular chest.)
Stripper: Excuse me? I'm not really a cop; I work here.
Female Cop 1: (showing her badge) My name is Officer Cagney. This is my partner Officer Lacey. Do you have ID on you?
Stripper: (incredulous) You're kidding, right? I don't carry ID, I'm a stripper. All I got on is this uniform and a really tight speedo.
Female Cop 1: (eyeing him from head to toe) That's a pretty authentic looking uniform. We thought you were a cop that's why we came over here.
Stripper: No, I'm not. I just work here. My routine is coming up next. You're welcome to come in and watch if you'd like.
Female Cop 1: Well, sir, you're gonna have to prove you are who you say you are, otherwise we'll have to take you in.
Stripper: Take me in? For what?
Female Cop 1: Impersonating an officer.
Stripper: Are you kidding?? Do I fucking look like a real officer to you? My shirt is missing three buttons and my badge says 'Property of Women' on it.
Female Cop 1: Sir, just prove who you say you are, and we'll leave you alone.
Stripper: (shaking his head) Fine. Come in and watch. If I give you an extra good show, will you leave me alone?
Female Cop 2: (jumping in before the other cop can say anything) Yeah, if you give us an extra good show.
(They all walk into the bar. The cops take a seat at an empty table while the stripper heads to the stage. The room is full of hooting, drunk women, whistling to the stripper as he walks by. The DJ announces the stripper as the lights flash and a police siren goes off and the sound of NWA's 'Fuck tha Police' is played in the background.)
DJ: And now....Ladies put your hands up and beg for mercy....because...it's the police fantasy you've all been waiting for....Welcome to the stage...your hot cop in a uniform....EROS!!!!!!!!
(crowd goes wild)
Female Cop 1: (to Female Cop 2) He better be fucking hung, otherwise, I'm taking him in.
Anyway, you get the idea. The poor stripper gives them his version of an "extra good show" but lacks the girth or length to garner a pardon from the female cops. They probably thought they were doing the world a favor by not letting this guy do his strip routine.
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