Number 5 on List of Dangerous and Disturbing Jobs

The Sun Online - TV: A jumbo tusk for scientists

MASTURBATING an elephant in the cause of science isn’t an easy job – just ask wildlife expert Dr Thomas Hildebrandt.

Just touching a jumbo penis – they measure more than 1.5metres when aroused – can have painful consequences as German scientist Dr Hildebrandt reveals.

He said: “One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis."

How'd you like to be the guy with the black eye having to explain to everyone how he got whacked in the head by an elephant's dong?

It’s a messy business as he massages Jackson’s prostate gland to produce 300ml of semen per orgasm – the equivalent of a can of Coke – which has to be airlifted in giant condoms across America to Christy.

Dumbo cumshot takes an eye out. News at 11.

When you think about it, this scientist should be applauded for doing the "hands-on" work necessary to keep our wildlife thriving. Actually, I find his job more noteworthy and noble than, say, being a car salesman or Paris Hilton's publicist. It would just be more difficult to explain on a resume.

Technorati Tags: elephant, cum, wildlife preservation, Paris Hilton

Why is Nature Fucking So Interesting?

Bug Rape - The best home videos are here

So I came across this video today that drew me in like Anna Nicole Smith on the E! Channel. Watching things in nature mate is so goddamn interesting and, dare I say, fun to watch. I'm sure someone out there has a fetish for it, but all that aside, it's somewhat life affirming to see nature continue to do the most natural thing in the world. It's unfortunate that society has turned it into something to be ashamed of. On the other hand, perhaps the taboo surrounding it makes watching these nature fucking videos so fun.

Here's a picture we took in Fiji (on the last day of our honeymoon, no less). Ah, nature!



Technorati Tags: Pirromount, Insects, Ladybugs, Fornication, Fuck, Fucking, Sexual Intercourse, Naked, Nude