No, Grandpa, a Nudie Camp is NOT My Idea of Fun

Nudists Try to Attract Younger Following | The Huffington Post

Oh those crazy nudists. They're at it again. Trying to get more people to accept their lifestyle and say, "I'm Here. I'm Naked. And I'm Proud." Apparently nudist camps are starting to look more like New Horizons Assisted Living Facility hopped up on Ecstasy than the hotbed of young, taut, nubile bodies that they really want to attract. So, their solution is to offer discounts to college students and have a mentoring program where young nudists, you know, persuade other young people to be, well, nude. Because, of course, if it were some old guy in a yellow cap and nothing else on, it would be kinda creepy.

The problem with their plan is that their senior marketing managers probably have not set foot into a nightclub or bar recently. One look at all the exposed flesh in one of those places, and you'd think you were at a nude beach. Plus there are more people their age there. It wouldn't be like you were stuck at the bar talking to grandpa and wishing you could trim his ear hair. They already have a place to frolic and prance around in the nude: Burning Man. And Daddy McNudist wouldn't be knocking on their tents at night tellin' em to quit smoking that damn marijuana.

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Nudists Aren't Supposed to have Tan Lines

Victorian nudists won't stand for a filthy beach - National - theage.com.au

Take a look at the picture. Australian booties...men who want to clean up their nude beach of litter. But there are noticeable tan lines on a couple of the nudists. Take for instance the man on the far right (who I like to call Jerry). Tsk, tsk. I'd like to think that some random guy and his friend decided to bare ass and join the fun just so they could get their picture in the newspaper to try and impress girls. Later, they regretted the move when the guys took a break and played a bit of nude hackysack. No, I'm not kidding. Nude hackysack- I've seen it. Anyway, Jerry and his friend regretted the move after Hal the Nudist accidentally kicked Jerry in the nuts causing Jerry to scream expletives making the nervous dog that hung around them all day suddenly attack Jerry's friend, nearly mauling him to death and leaving him with an unsightly scar on his right buttcheek. Imagination is everything, people.

Technorati Tags: nudists, nude beach