4 Sex Secrets...Aren't Really Secrets Anymore

Sex Tips to Keep Him Interested: iVillage.com

When it comes to keeping a guy's interest, the way you approach sex can make all the difference.

This article from which the above quote came made me infuriated and perplexed at the same time. It was thought-provoking, but in a way that made me want to argue and defend the sexual persona of women in general. These Cosmopolitan-esque theories on how to keep the man in your life begging for more seem to be a feminist empowering mantra on the surface, but really defeat the whole idea of womanhood and sex positive ideals. Here are the secrets, as they see them:

Don't be a tease, but don't be a sure thing, either.

OK, I get that. Men don't like to be tease, not for a long duration of time anyway, and being a sure thing promotes the idea that you're a slut. But, what's wrong with putting out? Just because you do for one person doesn't mean you do for the guy at Starbucks who smiles at you when he hands you your coffee. Here's a direct quote: "On the flip side, while men are inherently lazy and do love a sure thing, you also don't want us to take you for granted." Men, did you read that? Is that true? Talk about feeding stereotypes! This incredibly sexist statement demonstrates plainly the belief that a woman's worth is instrinsically linked to our sex. ARGGGGHH!

Make him a believer, but don't oversell it.

Step Two, according to the authors of this bile-inducing, so-called expert advice. This talks about making him feel like "a man" by stroking his ego while stroking his cock at the same time and giving him praise for the things he does do right. Good advice. It's always nice to give the people you care about compliments now and then and nothing's hotter than hearing your partner whisper sweet nothings in your ear. It's basically another way to say, "Don't lie, but help him to feel good about himself." I have no problem with that. It's the next sentence I have a problem with: "A sincere compliment here and there will keep him focused on doing better by you in bed — instead of finding someone easier to please." I guess that's why men cheat -- because the women aren't patting them on the back after sex. This second step should just read: Learn Communication Skills.

I won't continue to list the other skills this article promotes, because it's just a bunch of fodder that they regurgitate in every other article you'll find like it. I do agree with the statement this blog post started out with: the way you approach sex can make all the difference in the world. This is true. Be positive, be open, be aware, be who you are but strive to be better. These are true as much for sex as for any other essential part of life. I hope you're taking notes. :-)